Build my character to a new level

Well, I never expect things to be easy and everyone informed how hard it would be. Handling pressure and controlled chaos is not a problem. However, I never expected this many disguised opponents from all directions. Everyone playing nice and friendly. Well, it looks like this journey after all is going to be well worth to build my character to a new level.

I know we are going to be together for a while

The year started off with too much to handle, projects to work, nothing so far can be titled as, 'Mission accomplished', the worst part is I am forced to move on to brand new projects one after the another without completing the previous one satisfactorily. Being a perfectionist by nature, this is driving me insane...

Delegating and distributing my work and responsibilities that I love to do and entrusting others to complete and take care of them is rather difficult, but I know I am left with no choice and this is the only way to move forward.

My creative mind is wandering somewhere else, some where far away and twenty four hours per day seems not enough time to get everything on my plate done.

On top of all, I am tight down with a new personality that is a bit too pushy for my liking. Well, I am in the middle of something big, so I guess I better learn to handle this individual now, for I know we are going to be together for a while.

I love you all by heart and promise to stay loyal

I definitely wasn't expecting to fall in love now - not this fast and again, especially when I already have three wives. However, I am in love again for the fourth time, now I have decided and affirmed myself to marry and stay loyal until the trill last and the pleasure is worth it.

This burden on me is huge, the pressure is immense, this is the limit but lets not have any misgivings, accept the reality - repeat, accept, accept, accept - you that little voice in my head, back off! For all my wives, Maldicore, Ligo, MOSS & MBD, I love you all by heart and promise to stay loyal.

When romance is at home, the end is sweet

So far romance has been as of a romantic comedy! At times endless witty and challenging conversations like a ping-pong game. Can't help but display my cheeky side, for anyone who do live up to it excites me. In the mist of all these there are happy moments worth treasuring. More importantly there are those jolly movements worth laughing at own self. Whatever is the case, when romance is at home, the end is sweet.

As long as I love it, why apologize...

I love duties and responsibilities as long as they have a sense of belonging, something to say it is mine. Specially when I am a part of something huge, mountain big. At times the to do list do weigh me down but I love this nervous energy, I like to feed on it... So today, let me stop and count the number of hours I have slept in the past five days! Well, it came up to be, ten! Who cares, as long as I love it, why apologize...

Another reality...

When it is time to take a break from day's parley, after a shower/bath, lying on the bed can feel the pain in the feet released. The whole body sinks to the bed to a silent and deep release. Where ever that is, closing the eyes, only music that is composed are of the slow beating of the heart and the air that goes in and out. Time goes still for a door way to another dimension as in Alice in Wonderland. Only to be waken by a call at mid night, if not in the morning, by a herald valued more than coffee to another reality...

I am in no pride to bare the wrath of God.

Are you sure of yourself and your actions? Are you mechanical or exercising your free will? Why do some long to be with me all through the night? I can come up with hundreds of reasons to why I value some feelings and some I forget! Even Sweeney Todd had his reasons! One thing is sure, with every demon that possessed, be it Bune, Asmodeus or Dantalion, we grow stronger after the fight. When we are in total darkness while the eyes are open, we can still find the light, if we can feel and reason. You don't need to evoke Choronzon to know id and ego and you don't need to be convinced like M. Scott Peck. If you know what I know, you will act as I do. No, I don't long for a grimore to succeed, for Maxwell's demon is acting in my favor, but I see myself longing for the unknown to guide my journey. It is not the voices of the Qareen for we are false friends. Nor that I long to seek the pleasures of malevolent Lilith. When Laplace's demon is clear, am I to rely on confirmation bias without seeking the truth? I don't want to fight to see if Satan was right and I am wrong, but as a mere slave of God, I am in no pride to bare the wrath of God.