Strength of my self-discipline

I am not whining or complaining, more of like while trying out IBM Lotus Symphony I have suddenly got some vested interest in sharing my feelings to make a connection with you. In short, I am utterly dissatisfied. I guess we all are at times, it is in our nature. Humans! Some times it is like you hate the entire world, just want to be alone, leave me alone! Feels like the bars of this cage called life are toughening and rising higher beyond the clouds. The heart speeds up, with frightening thoughts and the forehead gets the sweat. Well, these are the signs that indicate that I am in the wrong place. More like the right time to get a one way ticket out for an escape.

What might have triggered such a state? Perhaps a chance encounter with someone I have been wishing to fall out of love, the nature have facts to prove that wishes are only for the wussies, and in the end never come true anyway. The animal inside wants to come out with unspoken torments and frustrations! Should I let it? Luckily I have matured enough not to act on my impulses.

Love you say, yes, sure I am. Well, who would not want romance in their life. But in love, you take so much time and effort to build a feeble stick house, which can be so easily blown away with the wind of change, or what if you stepped on it, accidentally or just out of ill judgment? So right now, I am not in the mood to tackle any setbacks in the romance department, too much responsibilities. In the matters of the heart, if I play, I play to win and games bring no joy! So it is time to do whatever it takes to brush off this nostalgia. For an ultimate joy, it requires a lot of sparks, but the problem is I have no time for sparks, not now...

So this is time for a change, is love in the air? Yes! But lets say change is in the air sounds better! This is more like a time to transform my heart, mind and my world. A gigantic leap forward. Time to take back the life of sugary sweet, frivolous, not that much sincere but enjoyable. The goal is aimed at a lazy finale, but for the finale I have got some heavy lifting to do, putting all this together requires an unchallengeable discipline. In short, coolness where romance is concerned. To make all these real, a decision has to be made. So I decide, I want freedom, and presto a rising tide of a very positive love vibration, as well as attunement to everything that is elegant, refined, beautiful, stylish and valuable. On a side note interest in antiques and collectibles, shopping and home decoration. I can't win if I don't play. Anything is possible for I know my passion, my potential and the strength of my self-discipline.