A man's guide to fulfillment!

What do I hear in the news? Murder and rape! What is happening to my brothers! I wonder what pleasure or happiness do people get out of these acts? Is it sexual frustration or just ego? Whatever it is, I know most Maldivian men are really desperate, and sexually frustrated, as there don't go by a day when a friend don't ask me, "Man, introduce me a girl". Sorry forks, I am done, had my share of girls from this world and I don't have the time for match making. However, I know your feelings and I believe locking our girls indoors is not the answer, so out of just mere frustration I am writing this, "A man's guide to fulfillment!"

First know, pleasure, desire and love are just feelings. Feelings can be either good or bad, of course with lots of variations in between. As for happiness is a state of mind. You cannot be happy if your searching for happiness. You cannot be happy by wanting it, you can only be happy by living a life of your wanting, happiness is a lifestyle. So the question is, what is that you want? Just know, the other man's wife will always be beautiful! Always! And it is not what you want! Enough definitions, lets get down to the crash course. First if you want to be happy love yourself. For heavens sake, you are a divine being created by God! With rights to be happy. Above all, thank God, that you are the master of your soul. Love yourself, however you are, how odd things are, just do it. If you don't love yourself who else will? If you don't love yourself how can you give or get love and know it? How can you ever give or acknowledge something that you don't have? I don't want to hear that your parents are nuts or you live in a shit hole! These are just excuses to blame others of your failures. I love my more than nutty parents and I did live in a shit hole where gorgeous girls used to visit. I am short, bold and not the smartest looking creature in this world. Frankly I never cared to know if a girl really loved me or not, all I know is I love myself and that is enough to get my regular doze of fulfillment. Truth is, I never ever had sex, I only make love! :)

That's the fundamental basics of a happy lifestyle, love thyself. Next comes someone to share this love with! To rephrase, how to attract a girl? Truth is, girls are as desperate and frustrated as you are. So what are girls looking for? Majority of girls (except the gold diggers), mostly unconsciously, are looking for a personality to match or exceed her. So what is this thing called 'personality'?

Let us talk a bit about personality here! We seems to have many personalities, the way we act with family members, mum and dad is not how we act with friends. Similarly the way we act in social gatherings is not the way we act in our classroom. So to speak I am breaking down the personality to three sub categories. First our animal personality, second our individual personality and third social personality.

Animal personality is what I would refer to as the wild sexual fantasies, the need to have sex in extreme conditions and places, the man eager to procreate. The personality that is frank, direct and spontaneous. This personality trait is rarely shown in the social dynamic, this is now a days commonly known as the bad boys or jerks. Everyone of us has it, we can take the animal away from the jungle, but the jungle is always inside the animal.

The individual personality is what I would call as who you are when you are with your own self. This relates to what you like, what you want and what you care for in this world. This can include your taste in food, your favorite color, cloths that you like to wear, places that you want to hang out and how you like to spend you free time and etc.

Social personality is how you relate with others, more diplomatic and friendly aspect of your personality. How you relate with friends and family comes from this personality trait. How you deal with difficult people, how you acquire friends, how friendly you are seen by others are shaped by this personality. How funny, arrogant, cocky or pleasing you are in a crowd depends on this personality.

So to be happy more importantly to attract a girl you need to master all three personalities, I will come to the reason for it later. You must have high values in all three. In order to get high personality values you will have to experiment a lot and know yourself. Talk to friends or just go out and experiment. I personally prefer the latter. How you prefer to do is up to you, but there is nothing compared to live experimenting. All in all just trust your emotions, there are only two kinds of emotions, either good or bad. So if what you are doing is making you feel good your on track. If not, try something else.

In the animal personality you must be sure of how you like to flirt, kiss, cuddle and get physical. Whether you prefer sensual over sexual and how to shift from one to another. How you communicate yourself to others. Nearly 90% of this personality is all about action. You need to learn to communicate how you want what you want and act on it.

Individual personality is all about you. What kind of movies you like, books you like, cloths you like, tastes you like, how you like to spend time, what kind of friends you like, what kind of hobbies you like, what you want to become in life. Just try different things to get a fixation on what you want. Like try different dishes to see how they taste. Try different cloths and see how you look like. Try talking with some new kind of a guy to see if you like hanging out. Try a different sport. Listen to different kind of music to see if you feel them. Take a new course or attend a class. There are limitless things you can do. Again just trust your emotions. There is no need to justify why you like it or hate it. You can just say I love it or that is rubbish, you don’t have to take anyone's approval. Go out and try so you will have a feel of what you are really made of. Remember jerking off is not a personality trait! :p

Social personality is a tricky one. It is all about others and how others see you. Here you have to learn how to relate with others. We are social creators, but how we are related by others depends on others perception. Perception is all that matters, whether it is true or false, it doesn’t matter. If someone sees you as a jerk, than in his eyes you are a jerk, it is his reality and it has nothing to do with you. It is his problem so let him handle it. What you have to learn here is how to talk with people to convey different kind of emotions. Like how to make someone angry, happy, smile, laugh, cry and jealous. Of course diplomacy places a major role, so don't go over board. You can ask for guidance from friends and books if you want but never trust them without experimenting or knowing or feeling. As I told before I like to experiment on my own. You have to have high social values in both individual and group encounters. Just go out that door and mingle, there is a wide world out there waiting for you. If someone don’t like you or accept you, it is there loss as you have a great individual personality that they just missed the chance to make friend with.

When you have a high individual personality you will have enough to talk about, discuss, opinions and argue with others. When you present your point of view of life and how you see it, they will either accept it or they will enlighten you with new realities. Learn to make fun with embracing movements, limitations, obstacles and misfortune. Know when to say yes and no. Build a curiosity to know others, what they like, what they want, including the reasons to why! And know 'I don't like it' or 'I don't want it' or 'I just like is!' is an answer too. When you are socializing you will come up with enough stories to talk about that will help along the way. Then you will be presented with opportunities to experiment your animal personality, it will come, just don’t push. Enjoy the ride, nature is not that cruel!

So once you have the attention of a girl, how to deal with her? First know girls are wired differently than man! Man are more like on-off switches. We are either high or low, but girls are like dimmer switch! Let me explain, do you know that feeling when your boss, mum or a teacher ask to do something that you don't like to do? Know that feeling? What if they pet on your back, offer you a sweet smile and ask you if you did not finish the work it would be a loss for both, so you better get your job done? Some time you create an excuse and some times you let yourself go! Well, this is human feelings in action. So how to go pass this little obstacle of feeling, "I don't like you"! Well, just know that beauty is something people are born with. It is a gift, what really matters is her personality. That is the only thing you can have fun with. So first just aim to know what she is really made of! Beauty is like the cloths she wears, anybody can become beautiful and sexy, look at the movie stars. When the cloths are off, everybody is naked! However, personality takes time and effort to build. So when you see a beautiful girl what you really want to know is what kind of a personality she really have. Never objectify her, thinking how beautiful she is, true beauty is skin deep. In my personal experience the more beautiful a girl was, underneath her cloths, the more an emotional sucker fish she was. An emotional sucker fish will drain you out so fast that you will start devising plans to loose her without hurting her feelings. On the other hand, in my personal experience the more beautiful a girl was the more loyal she turned out to be. Now, that's my personal experience, which is limited to me.

Last the animal personality is when you both know and feel the spark, and trust each other enough to experiment on what nobody else has to know. So buy me a coffee if you want more! ;)

The formula for fulfillment is first work on your individual personality, than your social and last on your animal. You will not need to ask your friends for numbers or use pick up lines or seductions or manipulations. Just go out and see if there is a girl who can match your personality. So to summarize, when you are in a social setting with her, use your social personalities. When you are alone with her in a social setting use your individual personality. When you are alone with her in privacy use your animal personality. With time this will come natural but at first you might have to have some misses, depending on how determined you are and how good you learn from your mistakes.

If you are determined enough this will take three weeks to form the habits, six months to see confidence and some results, and less than a year to get a beautiful girl, two years to have more than you want and five years to become a Jedi level master. Good luck and satisfy those girls with style.